


Maybe Okay

by AutumnKnight17



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:31:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9459338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnKnight17/pseuds/AutumnKnight17
Summary: They're not okay, nowherenearit, but they will be. One day, they will be.-Erratic updates, completely unedited, not proof read.-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (A/N: I think this was just supposed to be a what if Maggie hadn’t shown up on Alex’s doorstep in 2.08)

Alexandra Danvers knows the effect of her actions, she's too smart not to. She's far, far too familiar with the term disastrous consequences. She's felt it, known it, lived it and _fuck_ , at some point in her life she became it. 

Alexandra Danvers knows the effect of her actions, she's got the map outlined in her head on which dominos will fall when she ticks off a piece. She knows which pieces will die and what block they'll die in when she starts the game. She knows the casualties before they happen because she's studied far too hard to make sure there are none. But no casualties in war is unrealistic, bordering on naive, so she just learns what they will be and what she needs to say goodbye to. 

She's careful, methodical and precise in her plans. She thinks every single scenario through. Down to the last innocuous detail. What could happen at any given time because she can't afford to lose something she's not ready to say goodbye to. Or someone she's not ready to say goodbye to.

So when she makes a mistake, she's surprised, surprised because she's more careful than that. Surprised because she should have known better. Surprised because she missed something and Alexandra Danvers misses nothing. 

She's too familiar with loss to experience it again and when she does she's surprised. Because she's promised never again.

It feels like deja vu, honestly. It feels like routine, the fact is she's surprised but not unfamiliar with the territory. She thought she had read Maggie right, she thought Maggie wanted her back but she didn't and Maggie didn't. 

Alex would scream and cry, if she could. When she was a teenager she always used to, whenever something would upset her she would go to the yard behind her school and just let it all out, she didn't care if anyone saw her, saw Alexandra Danvers, star student, most popular girl in high school crying and screaming like a toddler. It didn't matter. But she's older now and she understands what someone seeing her would mean, so she just nods her head and smiles all the way through swallowing a shot full of liquor, her pride and her heart.

It tears her throat apart to keep it silent but she does and if it hurts her bad enough to make it feel like the world she fought for is ending, she doesn't show it. She walks away from Maggie the same way she walks away from a murder crime scene, her head pulled high, shoulders squared, face impassive, pretending she wasn't affected by the tragedy that had just happened.

They don't talk for 3 weeks straight after that, even then it's just a phone call, the wound is still tender and the flesh of her heart is still bruised but she manages to say Maggie's name without trembling so there's that. She goes to Kara's apartment that night and stays over for two days straight because she doesn't want to be alone just yet and Kara doesn't pry because Kara of all people knows pain and she gets the need to keep your mouth shut about it because explaining just makes you remember.

There's a routine they've come up with for days like these, where heartbreak is so prominent you can taste sadness in the air like its oxygen and tears come easier than breathing. Like always with the Danvers sisters they close themselves off, one licking their wounds and drying their eyes and the other handing bandages and handkerchiefs. Like always with the Danvers sisters one of them is crying so hard they can't breathe whilst the other stays strong enough to be unshaken by grief. Like always with the Danvers sisters they crumple in on themselves like paper with a hidden message only they can share. They'll only unfold when they're ready to read it out loud to the class. Like always with the Danvers sisters the incident is looked over and then forgotten.

It just takes a little longer on this one. Takes a little more time to heal than usual. Because now Kara isn't the one in pain, it's Alex and Alex's heart isn't as flexible towards pain as Kara's is because through all this time of hers on this world she's just ignored it in favour of focusing on Kara's side but now that she's decided to read into them, try and notice them instead of over looking them like song titles in an overplayed album it's suddenly more prominent. Her sadness isn't muted anymore, quite the opposite, right now it seems like the loudest thing in the universe. 

It's a month later when Alex feels back to normal, she's lived without Maggie before, she can do it again.

But it's different now because Maggie is that one wave that disrupts the equilibrium she'd carefully crafted to fit her life, she changes everything. Suddenly Alex can't laugh without thinking about how she'd be laughing too and every time someone knocks on her door she expects brown hair and brown eyes, someone impossible waiting to say hi. 

She thinks she's delusional when Maggie shows up two weeks later at her door step, thinks " _Maybe I've finally snapped._ " But Maggie doesn't kiss her the way she's always imagined she would if the detective ever did show up. She just pushes past Alex to walk into her apartment like she owns the place and to be honest, if Maggie asked for the deed Alex probably wouldn't be able to resist. Even so, Alex doesn't say anything. Maggie finally turns around and Alex blurts out before she can stop herself "What are you doing here?" 

It's rude and crass and everything Eliza taught her not to be "We have a case," Maggie states, as though the fact is obvious.

" _Really_ now? I've yet to be informed by my superiors,"Alex says, and suddenly there it is, the cold unflinchingly professional tone Alex only brought out when her signature cold shoulder was called for. 

"Well your superiors don't talk to NCPD. You're my only contact at the DEO and you're not answering your phone." It's a pointed jab. A doctor piercing the needle in just the right place for a reaction. A pressure point mostly and Alex has to take a breath not to rise up to the bait.

"What is it this time?" She asks as she turns and walks further into the apartment "Homicide? Genocide? Mass murder? Hate crime?" She continues, all the questions filled with cynical undertone. However serious she was about solving these crimes and imprisoning the guilty, she was tired of all the gore and violence. It's all suddenly become a part of an exhausting, disgusting routine. 

"Kidnapping," Maggie says with a small frown that Alex refuses to acknowledge is cute.

"Why is this my case then? Shouldn't the _normal_ justice system be handling that?" Alex asks with an insultingly condescending tone when she says the word normal. 

"Because it's a little girl, only _just_ registered after the Alien Amnesty Act. Why are you asking me this? If what they tell me is true, Supergirl fought to get the DEO on this case," Maggie says, shaking her head in disbelief at the fact that Alex doesn't know of this.

Alex's eyes widen involuntarily "She did _what_?" tone shrouded in confusion.

"The Government wants to prove that we, the NCPD can handle alien related affairs by ourselves but Supergirl caught wind of it, confronted the officials who were handing us the case and dropped your name to try and get on their good side," Alex hummed, the tiny noise somehow sounding disbelieving. 

"They never told you this, did they? You saw this all happen, didn't you?" Alex asked, turning to look at Maggie. 

"Yes." Is the simple, one-worded answer and Alex knows she won't elaborate anymore, Alex can't guess why she's lying but talking to Maggie is hard, and yet confronting Maggie is even harder so she lets sleeping dogs lie.

"Let me get ready," Alex says, and Maggie looks her up and down, long and thorough with her observation. 

"You mean you're /not/ going out looking like this?" Alex is wearing pajamas and her hair is nowhere near as tamed and neat as it usually is and the bags under her eyes are probably big enough for a trip around the world. She doesn't look her best and she knows it. 

The words-they're teasing and playful, suddenly less serious than they were just a few moments ago. It's diversion, Maggie's way of saying "I don't want to talk about it" so Alex respects it, respects her and shakes her head in amusement "I was just going to get my gun, phone and wallet. I mean, I look so good with the 'woke up like this' vibe," Alex says sarcastically.

Maggie smiles "Yeah, you do," and that's how Alex knows,

They're not okay, nowhere _near_ it, but they will be. One day, they will be.


	2. Colleague

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex sets professional boundaries and Maggie notices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it seems I'm continuing this!

Okay, so yeah, they're working together but that doesn't mean Alex has to talk to Maggie. They're partners now. Professional partners and unlike before when they were friends, Alex doesn't _owe_ Maggie anything. 

They're still tentative and slowly recovering but that doesn't mean it can be what it was before because what happened before was Alex falling in love with Maggie and Maggie not feeling the same way. So this is professional. _Purely_ professional. 

In all honesty, Alex doesn't hold anything against Maggie, she wasn't interested, she let her down slowly and carefully and she's really trying to fix things but that doesn't make it any easier to talk to her, or be friends with her because whether they like it or not they're different now. Things are different now. 

And they have to adjust to that.

\---

It's the little things Maggie notices. The way that Alex is slower to hold her and faster to let go. The way she doesn't say everything that's on her mind at the moment it comes across her mind anymore, the way she's more careful, more cautious. 

It's certainly a change Maggie muses. 

A change that off-balances their dynamic like a tidal wave. 

They can't interrogate someone without interrupting each other and suddenly their conclusions lead to different ends. It's not a change in chemistry, it's a change on the way they act towards that chemistry. Alex is denying something but Maggie doesn't know what that is. 

Before she can contemplate it more, Alex is tugging at her sleeve. She'd left to survey the rest of the house while Alex interviewed the victim's mother. Maggie looked through the girl's room while Alex coerced information out of the woman.

\---

Alex clears her throat and looks away, bashful the moment Maggie sets eyes on her "The interview's over, she gave a name, apparently the girl went to school and there was a teacher, Taylor Evans," Alex says after a moment, neither Maggie nor she call the girl by name, it's basically protocol when given a case like this, _don't get attached to people who are lost, more often than not, they stay like that_ , almost a rule.

Maggie knows the girl's name, so does Alex, but that's getting too close, and the last time that happened? 

Well, Alex looks over at Maggie and shakes her head. She doesn't want to think about what happened _last_ time. "We should head out and talk to her before the day ends," Maggie nods and turns around, walking out of the room, pretending not to notice all the pictures and sentimentalities that could emotionally compromise her from doing a good job on the case. Alex sticks around a little longer, looks around a little too much because she needs to see more of this girl, feel more for her, she can't find someone without knowing where to look and having a glimpse into this girl's world would give her at least an idea. She picks up a photo and leaves, following Maggie's footsteps.

It doesn't take long to reach the school, it's only a few blocks away, barely 5 minutes on a motorcycle. The kids are just leaving now, the dismissal bell only having just rung when they arrived. Alex and Maggie walk down the school corridor slowly, and for the first time since starting the case, instead of an uncomfortable, tense quiet, it is a companionable silence. Alex almost doesn't want the hallway to end when it does. They stop in front of a classroom. Alex nearly cries when she reads _Grade 4_ written sloppily on a sign hanging over the door.

This kid was barely _10_. Alex steels herself and knocks on the door. 

A woman, barely into her mid-20's opens up, she looks exhausted, spent, though her clothes are pristine and neat, her hair still perfectly honey blonde tied up into a clean bun, her eyes give her away, they look tired and the corners of her lips look worn, from smiling too much possibly, but it looks sardonic now, these features look impossibly old for what Alex assumes is her age.

Both Maggie and Alex pull out their badges "Alexandra Danvers, Secret Service," Alex says and Maggie doesn't say a thing. It takes a moment for her to realise that Maggie is waiting for Alex to introduce her. She fumbles through the introduction like a toddler learning to speak "T-this is my-" Alex pauses, thinks it through for a second before continuing " _colleague_ , Maggie Sawyer. She's NCPD. We're here to talk to you about a missing girl."

\---

_Colleague?_


	3. Lost Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where Alex realises some stuff after the interview with Taylor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k i know i havent updated in a while so sorry family shit

The interview yields many results, some conflicting, some confusing, most leaving them with more questions than they originally had. Taylor claims that Emily-

No.

The girl, had always stayed after class. Claims that her parents were abusive. Claims that the girl never wanted to leave the school. 

And surprisingly, Alex believes her. 

Against all evidence, against all things pointing otherwise she believes her because Emily, yes, not the girl, not the Jane Doe, Emily, even looking perfect in the photo she picked up looks lost. Having been lost and having lost something. 

Alex recognises that look.

It was the look in Kara's eyes every night for 8 years, lost, mourning, every emotion that a girl like Emily, a girl that is at the top of her class, a girl who has the perfect adoptive family, a girl who's, by every definition of the word perfect, flawless, shouldn't have in her eyes. 

It's achingly familiar. 

So Alex leaves, lets Maggie go again and leaves. She's going to go back to Emily's parents because Taylor is telling the truth and they aren't. 

She can't believe she couldn't tell earlier.  
She’d say that she didn’t notice, but she did. She noticed the way they were saddened the entire time they talked. 

It wasn’t that they were nonchalant. 

It was the way that they looked like they were already at a funeral, like they’d already lost hope. 

These people seemed like realists, like they already knew she was dead and not just missing.

That’s not how most people act when someone in their life goes missing, they’re usually blinded, by false hope, by endless optimism but most lost people tend to stay lost.

Alex looked into the rearview mirror and met her own eyes, dark brown, almost black in colour, incredibly clueless and afraid behind those irises that held a mountains worth of tears, most lost people tend to stay lost.


	4. Black holes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Alex 'talks' to Emily's mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited not proofread-the usual! Thank you for being patient!

The mother comes home first. She tosses her keys onto the coffee table, takes a deep breath and collapses against the couch. She buries her head into the pillow and lets out a laugh that has no humor. 

Alex is pretty sure it'll dissolve into sobs if she lets this go any farther. 

So she steps out of the kitchen, lets herself be seen, feels the sun shining heavily against her. She sits, plopping herself down on the chair. She kicks her feet up on the table and sighs loudly.

The woman looks up, bleary eyed and a little dazed to find Alex just sitting there. Not even looking at her, just staring straight ahead, as though the very act of setting her eyes on the woman is shameful. 

"So," Alex says, voice a low drawl, somehow being both threatening but calming at the same time. "Are you going to tell me?" she asks, keeping her tone as uninterested and nonchalant as possible.

"T-tell you what?" The woman stutters on the first syllable before gaining her bravado once more.

"Tell me why you're keeping Emily's real location under the rug," Alex states, as though the very idea is as simple as pouring milk into a bowl of cereal. The name burns against her tongue.

When the woman stays silent, Alex starts picking at her nails "Tell me why you're not telling the truth," Alex says. Looking at them as though they were claws.

"You-" The woman starts before her voice breaks, tiny sobs falling at the edges of the single syllable word. "You wouldn't understand." She says, pleading with sorrowful eyes and a guilty soul.

Alex turns, slowly, ever so slowly as though if she turned too fast the sky would explode. "I understand." Alex says, voice low and dangerous "I understand the fact that you're letting her stay missing." She says, standing up, straightening to her full height.

"I understand that you're letting her get hurt." She continues, letting out a small feral grin that looks more like she's baring her teeth than smiling.

"I understand that you're letting her _die_." Alex states, sharp as ever.

She strides forward, closer, threateningly close. "What I don't understand-" she begins, taking her gun out of her holster and pointing it towards the woman's pulse "-is why." She says, letting out a laugh that sounds almost like a roar.

"I-" The woman starts, but Alex cuts her off with 3 short tsks.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to interrupt? It's quite rude," she says, fingers twitching threateningly against the trigger. She kneels in front of her, pulling the woman's chin so that she has proper aim to blow her head off at the neck. 

"You see, I know you had a mother to teach you that," Alex says, continuing as though never interrupted. "The thing is," she states, pressing the guns muzzle slightly harder against the woman's skin, just hard enough to bruise. "This little girl," Alex says "-Emily, she doesn't have that luxury anymore. Her planet was destroyed, pulled apart at the very seams of reality by a black hole the size of a penny. That includes her parents." Alex smiles.

"Now, when she came to this planet, she thought that this would be her safe haven. A land where black holes small enough to fit inside your pocket wouldn't destroy everything you've ever loved." Alex says, chuckling slightly.

"Oh, how wrong she was." She says "You see, they say human souls don't exist. That the closest thing we could ever come close enough to even having one would be our conscience, but that's wrong." She continues. 

"The Big Bang created everything, including us. Now, in the simplest way to say it, most of us still have some of that explosion inside the atoms that make us up." Alex says "That-" she states, pulling closer than before. "is your soul. You have enough soul in you to make a black hole, everyone does. And with this 'gun', it's experimental, we can harness that energy to benefit us. So far, all the black holes we've created were made inside a safe place, a controlled area where all the variables have been accounted for. And yet, they've still gone out of control." Alex's smile is splitting into a grin "How about we take out your soul and see how it goes in the wild?" 

"Because let me tell you a little secret." She says, leaning over, theatrically whispering into the woman's ear "I'm really curious on how dark human souls can get."


	5. Lying for The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex discovers more information about Emily's situation than she thought she ever would've before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited i guess im sad these days so its taking undertone in this story ≦(._.)≧

Okay, so maybe she was fibbing.

The gun _was_ a "soul"-sucking, blackhole-creating experimental device, but they'd never tried it out before, never even fired it, and the safety was on for god's sake because if Alex had accidentally pressed that trigger then that'd be a blackhole sized _oops_. 

And if she'd pressed that then she'd die to. But fear does crazy things to a person, the mother didn't even realise this, didn't even think about that possibility. 

In fact, it seemed as though there was only one thing the mother was thinking about. _Emily_. Judging by the guilt in her eyes and the quiver of her lips as tears threatened to make their presence known, the little girl was a ghost in her mind that refused to stop haunting the same way she is a phantom in Alex's mind.

A ghost who was so much like Kara. Every time she looks at that photo she'd taken she remembers. Kara, having only just landed on earth, having only just lost her world, her planet, her everything in the blink of an eye. She remembers Kara when she'd just gotten here, not quite a Danvers yet, still one foot out the door, still half pretending Krypton wasn't gone. Not quite Supergirl yet, not quite that starry-eyed heroine, not quite everything she is now.

A ghost who was so much like Astra, Every time she looks at that photo she'd taken she remembers. Astra, only trying to help. Only trying to be a hero. Having only just found out that the niece she'd been mourning for 24 years aboard an intergalactic prison wasn't dead at all. She remembers seeing the light fade from Astra's eyes and remembers questioning if it was ever even there at all. She's here to redeem the mistakes she made when she'd turned Kara away and when she took Astra away.

She presses harder against the woman's pulse and for the first time since getting there, she un-clicks the safety. She tells herself it's just another bluff, but internally she's already calculating how far the blackhole _could_ make it if she _did_ pull the trigger. She's in the middle of anticipating a small 75 mile inter-dimensional rip in the space-time continuum when she feels a hot tear fall from the mother's eye. She presses harder against her and her finger twitches against the trigger like a warning "No." she states, anger boiling underneath her voice.

"You don't deserve to cry." she states "Liars don't get to cry." she says. 

"I-I'm not a liar!" the woman says.

Alex doesn't even know what happened, doesn't even remember, but she recalls the woman's tears and blood dripping from her hands, recalls the split and bruised skin on her knuckles. She doesn't remember how hard she hit her 

"Roulette." The woman says, in between breaths so filled with effort that it sounds like her lungs are drowned in blood. 

"What?" Alex asks "Say that name again. Louder." and she does, again and again. 

Alex says again "Louder. Say it. Say the name." she's shaking now, fingertips dressed in earthly, dirty, guilty blood. Dripping red all over the floor. 

"Roulette." Alex says, when the woman takes a pause to breathe. She laughs then. "Good job." she states. It's sarcastic, a spot of out-of-place humour. It makes it even scarier.

Alex stands, straightens onto her feet. She pulls out a handkerchief from her back pocket. Tosses it to the woman and smiles humourlessly "Go cry to your heart's desire." 

"I thought you said liars don't deserve to cry." The woman says, spite colouring her tone.

"I did, but mourning parents _are_." Alex says, slightly breathless, making the entire sentence sound like a single syllable word.


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Alex finds some stability in Kara

Alex goes to her apartment next, and isn’t surprised when she finds Kara laying in her bed in that Supergirl get-up that never ceases to get a laugh out of her. _She must have heard from Maggie_ , Alex thinks to herself. 

_Of course she would wait for me_ , Alex thinks, Kara would always wait for her, until she was in drought for patience, until her eyes blurred from watching a clock like a hawk, the little alien would always wait for her. 

Alex tosses her bag onto the couch, walks herself over to the fridge and halfheartedly tries to pry the alcohol cabinet drawer open. Her hand hurts too much to function. It’ s been a while since she’d last punched someone, these days punching seems like more effort than pulling a trigger. 

Her fingers tremble at the pressure of effort, pulling the drawer open seems next to impossible. She’s ready to scream with frustration because she’s not going to use her left hand just because her right isn’t cooperating.

Kara is right next to her suddenly, she’d be lying if she said she was used to that, up until now Kara didn’t use her powers regularly for such mundane things, the superspeed, the sudden appearance of her has always startled Alex into a breathless state. She’s never had anyone so ready to be close to her, to comfort her so readily. 

Kara’s silent as she stares, she puts her hand over Alex’s, gentle as to not aggravate the irritated skin, she pulls at the fingers, still exceedingly soft, tugs them towards her and Alex lets her hand fall limp in Kara’s grasp.

Kara’s breath is ice against her knuckles, cold to cool the bruises. She won’t ask and Alex is grateful because she’s not ready to answer. When Kara is satisfied she pulls Alex close, wraps her arms around her waist and they fall into a collapsing embrace. Alex is reminded of the strength in Kara’s arms when she hugs her a little too tightly.

“I don’t think now is a time for alcohol.” She says quietly, as though if she spoke too loud the walls of their home would come down. 

Alex nods because personally she agrees, bronzing liquid alcoholic enough to be poisonous has been her escape for longer than she can recall. But she's run away far too may times. Kara’s been her home for longer than that and when she looks into those big, bright blue eyes, she imagines a home is all she needs right now.


	7. Sit down bottles are falling overboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Alex is more devastated than Kara thought.

Kara knows Alex hasn't been doing good lately. 

She's well aware. 

Nights like these have come with increasing frequency, ever since _that_ detective fell into her sisters life, the boat started rocking. _Not just rocking_ , Kara thinks to herself as she stares at Alex's sleeping form, _things have fallen overboard_. 

Alex might think that Kara hasn't noticed but she needs to remember to take out her trash more often. 

She's not blind to the empty bottles suddenly appearing at the bottom of the can. 

Things have changed recently. Kara's not as naive as she looks. She'd ask Alex but-

But looking at her now, sleeping, blissfully oblivious, Kara knows that she doesn't have the answers.

This is the first time she's ever felt as though she's started sailing into uncharted territory, Alex has always been there to guide her but it's different now.

She's about to contemplate it more when she hears a knock at the door. Frowning, she thinks about anyone who would show up at Alex's front door unannounced.

Cautiously, she pulls her cape off and drapes it over Alex like a blanket and closes the balcony doors. She grabs Alex's gun and puts it next to the sleeping girl, for safety, she thinks, and walks to the door, careful to keep from making noise.

She opens the door to find that detective standing and looking slightly lost, a little timid even. Kara can barely stop herself before she says something stupid. 

Luckily, Maggie breaks the ice “ _Supergirl_?" She asks, voice tainted with confusion. Kara nearly winces before she catches herself. 

She pulls that classic superhero confidence from deep within her chest and speaks with bravado she herself didn't know was there "Detective Sawyer, is it?" She asks as more of a formality than an actual question. "Come in." She says before Maggie can respond.

She steps aside to give way "Not to be rude, Ms.-" Maggie cuts off, only then realising she didn't know what to call Supergirl. 

"Just Ms." Kara says with an air of finality that's hard to protest against.

"Alex is asleep, however," Kara pauses "If whatever it is you've come to do is very important, I'll wake her?" She phrases it like a statement but she turns her blue eyes on Maggie and suddenly it's a question. 

"Yes." She says. Maggie realises then that she probably looks like an idiot but she's still processing the way Supergirl said Alex's name, with respect and maybe even _reverence_. She hastily continues "Yes, it is important." She says.

Supergirl hums thoughtfully "Follow me." She states and walks away, as though used to people following her orders to the word. 

Maggie doesn't disappoint. She hurries and nearly falls over herself to match the taller woman's long strides. 

Supergirl smiles beneath her teeth and leads the woman into Alex's bedroom where the sleeping girl lays, she leans over the bed and pulls at her cape gently, Alex's nails dig into the fabric and comes the sleepy response to all the jostling "No." She says petulantly, eyes still closed. 

Supergirl looks up at Maggie and sends an apologetic look through her eyes “ _'Lexandra_ ," she says softly, the first syllable of the woman's name fading on her tongue. "Someone's here." She continues.

Alex stirs then processes the words and opens her eyes right into luminescent blue ones. “Who?” she asks, still muddled from sleep, the most unguarded Maggie has seen her, lax in Supergirl’s presence, protected. 

“The detective,” Supergirl says. Maggie doesn’t miss the way they speak about her like she’s not in the same room, like she’s excluded from them. 

“Take her to the kitchen,” Alex says, voice cold suddenly. Supergirl nods then, no protest that would come from someone who thinks they are better than the person ordering them around. Even as she is infinitely stronger than Alex she respects as though it were the other way around.

And Maggie is confused now. Supergirl just showed incredible authority, someone who doesn’t like to be on the lower side of things but from what she’s shown with Alex,

-it looks like Supergirl is willing, either high or low for her. Maggie doesn’t know why. She’s not used to that, her entire life, even young, she could tell people’s motives at a glance, but even watching the entire book unfold in front of her right now,

-she can’t even guess. 

They walk to the kitchen without another word, Supergirl concentrated on something else, and Maggie figuring things out. Both waiting for Alex.


	8. Humanity and Loving

Kara leans over the counter top and rests her eyes on Maggie, she’s watching so carefully that she feels the familiar burn of laser vision threatening to shoot out of her irises. She stops herself, just barely. 

When Alex gets there Kara’s eyes are still glowing bright blue with no sign of pupil. She doesn’t show it but she hurries to Supergirl’s side, places a hand on Kara’s bare thigh and squeezes just hard enough to be felt by the kryptonian. They turn to look at one another for a moment, Alex lets Kara stare, knowing the super hero wouldn't do anything to hurt her. 

Staring at Alex always calms Kara down, neither of them know why exactly, but it’s been like this for as long as they remember. _At least one thing stays the same_ , Kara thinks bitterly as she looks into Alex’s eyes. She stays then, staring until hers feel normal again, until Alex can see the white of her eyes again. 

It’s a soft moment of escape.

There’s a long tense silence before they turn to Maggie. 

Alex rubs the sleep from her eye and winces when her knuckle brushed against her cheek “Sawyer,” Alex addresses. “What brings you here this time?” She asks, cynically sarcastic. 

“That.” Maggie says, pointing at the bruises on her hand “How you got them.” She clarifies. 

“Went a little too rough at the punching bag,” Alex shakes her head “It doesn’t matter.” It’s a definite lie, thinly veiled as though Alex lacks the motivation to give even the slightest of effort into making it even half believable. Maggie sees it as fast as the words fall off Alex’s tongue. 

Supergirl looks sidelong at her, disbelieving but quiet with her suspicions.

Maggie sees that too, and wonders wether or not the super hero’s moral compass is as fixed as she always pretends it is, because lying isn’t something she’d consider to be on the good side. 

 

But she guesses it depends on what,

-or _who_ one is lying for.

Maggie needs to figure that out because, well,

truthfully?

-It’s concerning to see someone who is, admittedly as high a figure of good as the christian cross, so easily corrupted by something as pure as,

Love?

Is that it? Is that the emotion in Supergirl’s eyes when she looks at Alex? 

Maggie wouldn’t know. 

She’s not used to seeing love so open and unshrouded by filthy humanities such as selfishness and jealousy.

And this is when she remembers just how inhuman Supergirl is.

Apparently, even the highest and purest of _goods_ can be brought down by the lowest and most contaminated of guilty _pleasures_. 

But Maggie gets it. She won’t judge because when she looks at Alex, she too forgets the good and the bad. 

And she would excuse it for anyone else,

but this is Supergirl, Supergirl who should be immune to human thing such as madness, and guilty pleasures and love and to see that she isn’t,

-well, it’s unsettling.


	9. Chapter 9

“Until your innocence can be proven,” Maggie says “You will be taken under NCPD custody.”

“Innocence of _what_?” Alex asks, voice tinged with surprise that Maggie knows is feigned the moment she hears it. 

“Mother of missing child claims you interrogated her, Alex.” Maggie says, enunciating the word ‘ _interrogate_ ’ slowly and carefully, stretching the meaning of the word as far as possible because Maggie could never say Alex tortured someone, as a police officer, claiming that would make it impossible for her to shorten the jail time, Alex would be there for at least 4 years. And she couldn’t do that to Alex. 

“Say it, Maggie.” Alex says and for a moment Maggie thinks Alex is daring her to say ‘torture’ which is painful enough on it’s own. 

“Say her fucking name.” Alex says, taking a step closer, defiance lighting her dark brown eyes like flames sparking in a dark mahogany wood forest. “Because you can’t claim that I _interrogated_ someone without clarifying who.” Alex continues and Maggie can only find it in herself to stay silent because Alex is _mad_ , not at her, Maggie knows Alex well enough to know when anger is present because usually it isn’t and she knows well enough to be aware when that anger is directed to her. Something went on between the mother and Alex other than an interrogation.

“The mother of who? There are _thousands_ of missing children, Detective. You’re going to have to be more clear with that.” Alex says, a look of anger flashing over her features before it’s wiped clear to reveal a flawless poker face. 

Maggie has a clear set of rules, and that breaks one. She pulls Alex’s wrists behind the woman’s back, and meets no resistance. 

“-Emily Claire’s mother.” Maggie says, swallowing her pride because if it were anyone else in here position, Alex would be going away for life.  
  
  
  
"Don't touch her!" Supergirl says, eyes going bright again and taking a step forward, shoulders squaring and straightening her to her full height.

"Ms. I'd advise you to stay away-" Maggie says, pulling Alex behind her, almost protective in nature.

"No. Don't touch her! Get away from her!" Supergirl says, right before she pushes Maggie with just a little too much force for a human to take.

Alex pushes in front of Maggie and grabs Supergirl's right shoulder and wraps her fingers around the hero's wrist. She tugs, a little too soft for a situation like this. "It's okay." She says, quietly enough that it sounds like a prayer.

Supergirl pulls into the touch, a little desperate, a little breathless, and a little needy all at the same time. "It's never going to be okay for me to see someone hurting you." She says in the same tone of voice, a little stronger with a dangerous defiance, a dangerous protectiveness falling over her heroic sheen. 

"Calm down." Maggie says, raising her hands in a placating gesture. "I'm not hurting her, Supergirl." She continues, taking a step closer to the still visibly angered superhero.

"Don't call me that." Kara snaps, pulling away from Alex abruptly. "I am not your hero."

"You have to understand." Maggie says, trying her hardest to save the situation somehow. "It's my orders-" she continues.

"And you have to understand," Supergirl says, taking a treacherously close "-the fact that she's my everything." she continues, hand finding its way to Maggie's arm.

Her fingers tighten and flex against Maggie's skin, holding her hard enough to bruise.

"-And I'm not going to let you take her away."


End file.
